Years
by Angel Dream Aino
Summary: Its been years since Tsukushi has seen Tsukasa, and even now Rui has not left her side. Rui has made it clear that as long as she was happy it would be enough for him, but will these years of Tsukushi and Tsukasa being apart for so long change everything?
1. Chapter 1

AN: I am basing this on the manga and the anime!! I do not own any of these characters and am writing just for my pure love of the drama! This is my first chapter so please review!

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_'How long has it really been? When a year had passed already, not much had changed. A second year has passed and it went as fast as the first with no other real development. A third year has passed and the only thing that has changed is my want to deal with the past, to finally let it be the past and let it go. I should have known that it won't be easy, after all ever since I met him nothing has been. As Makino Tsukushi my problems seem to never end. The day I challenged the cliché F4 was the day that has changed me forever. __Nishikado Sojiro, Mimasaka Akira, Hanazawa Rui, and lastly the the baka himself, their ring leader Domyouji Tsukasa, the man I am in love with. If I could fast forward time, would I have changed anything?_

_My first love was and will always be Hanazawa Rui, yet in my heart I knew it wasn't meant to be. If anyone were to say that I was going to fall in love with Domyouji, I would have laughed, but now the real dummy here is me. _

_To be honest the man I fell in love with is arrogant, selfish, spoiled, scary, unpredictable, and violent. He is the kind of man who will stop at nothing to get what he wants no matter what and we always end up crossing path, no matter what we always find each other. I honestly don't know what I see in him and his crazy ways. Obsessed and possessive, he stopped at nothing to conquer me, and now that he has what he wants we are so far apart. I can't help but continue to fight for this love every time I see those eyes that always give me a warm feeling, and his arms that make me feel like he can protect me from anything in the world. _

_**However**__ it was him that had made my life almost impossible as he bullied me as a way to 'gasp' my attention later on, but at first to get me out! Even though I was harassed I decided to keep going to school because I am after all a "tough weed". I ended up declaring war right back on the F4, and at first I had eyes for Hanazawa Rui, but oddly enough the romantic feelings I had for him ended up being responded by Domyouji. He made my life so much harder, but in another sense I ended up being close to one of the greatest people in my life.'_

'The time of April has hit, yet walking through the halls of this high school brings back so much memories both good and bad.' Makino took long strides down the hallway to her own place of peace that she had long ago shared with Rui. As she pushed open the doors she took in a deep breath and stared admiringly into the scenery, oh how she hated this school.

"Yo." A quaint voice broke into her thoughts, a voice that she loved to listen to.

"Rui, isn't it a lovely day?" Makino beamed at him.

"It's certainly peaceful, especially now. By the way what's wrong with your face?"

"My face?" Makino blinked three times and stared at him blankly before throwing her hands to her face.

"WHATS WRONG WITH MY FACE?" Makino shrieked awkwardly. Rui just looked at her for a second before breaking off into a charming smile.

"Nothing is actually wrong with your face, you look pretty." Makino even now felt her face flush, even though it was a long time ago, she still remembers Rui confessing to her while they were in New York. He was always like the knight in shining amour that she had dreamed for and had rescued her many times, she loved him but in a different way.

"Oy you are indeed a strange one Rui, maybe another defeat in 'Baba-Nugi' will put you back into your place." Makino said with slanted eyes as she glared at him. Rui just chuckled in return before staring back at the sky.

"You're on, not even Papa can save you now." Makino smiled back and joined him in his 'cloud watching' as she began to refer to it. A lot has happened since she last saw Tsukasa, but generally the fact that her and Rui have only grown closer, and that Tsukasa keeps out 'watch' for her behavior but is still the same busy man. Makino put her hand over her mouth as she let out a huge yawn.

"Oh no I think you're finally rubbing off on me! Maybe we do spent too much time together!" She said shyly as she scratched the back of her head.

"Hmh.." Rui got up and leaned down until he reached eye level with her sitting form.

"I'm still coming over later for some diner so be prepared to lose at cards again. You know I only let you win yesterday because your determined face was so funny that I almost couldn't help myself." Makino flushed at this sudden close contact and let out a nervous laugh.

"Hmph" He stared at her for a few more seconds before composing him and walked off.

"Come on class is about to start soon, lets head back to the university." Makino smiled as she got up and chased after him, was it him that changed or was it her? Tsukasa had paid the full four years for her to attend Eitoku university just so he can keep his 'eye' on her. No matter where she went craziness always seemed to follow, but as it would always seem, her good nature is always what got the best of her, even now.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I am basing this on the manga and the anime!! I do not own any of these characters and am writing just for my pure love of the drama! This is my first fic so please review!

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_A little voice inside my head said, "don__'__t look back. you can never look back."  
I thought I knew what love was  
What did I know?  
Those days are gone forever  
I should just let them go but-  
I can see you-_ [Boys of the summer by Ataris]

"Oy nee-chan stop sulking because Rui-san beat you again at cards! Now can you hurry it up because some of us ARE hungry here!" Susumu whined as his stomach growled. Makino in return wacked him over the head and yelled at him to watch his manners. At this Rui let out a laugh as he watched the two yell at each other back and forth. She was a real force to be reckoned with and it wasn't a surprise that those who got to know her hated to part from her.

"Ahh here you go, TOdAY's SPECIAL Is MISO SOUP and a side of rice!" Makino sat down happily and they all started to eat.

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"Thanks for the meal Makino and for your hospitality." Rui said as he bid his farewell to everyone, Makino got up and put on her shoes.

"I'll walk you out, I need some fresh air myself." As they walked along side each other, Makino couldn't help but zone out a little as she began to think things through.

'I wonder how Tsukasa is doing, if he's okay and what's his been thinking about..'

"Hey Makino.." At this Makino made a weird face and jumped back into a defensive stance only to see a puzzled Rui staring at her before cracking out into tears of laughter.

"HEY RUI DON'T LAUGH YOU JUST CAUGHT ME BY SURPRISE IS ALL!" She yelled back defensively.

"Ha ha ha, you know when I am with you I feel at my best. You make me happy, and that's enough for me.." He drifted off into silence and again began to stare at the sky above as we walked around. In a way I envied how he could do that , it was almost like he could reveal something to the sky that he couldn't even reveal to me.

"By the way, that reminds me how is Tsukasa doing? Have you heard from him Makino?" At this Makino didn't quite know what to say, she hadn't talked to him often, it wasn't that they were drifting apart, it was just that he didn't really have much of the time to offer her. Even on her birthday and on his own she wasn't able to see him, but she would be okay because she loved him.

"To be honest Rui, I haven't heard from him in a while.. but I must admit this only makes him grow in my eyes because this responsibility of his makes him seem more mature." At this she chuckled weakly before taking her turn to look up at the sky.

'Doumyouji, even though we made an oath to never lie to other each other, I have not been completely honest to myself.. we barely even talk.. but you big idiot, even though I love you can't you see? That if it continues to go like this it could drive me into the arms of anyone there to comfort me? I am now not only dependent on you, but no matter what I need you the most right now..'

"Don't kid yourself Makino, just know that no matter what you can depend on me and tell me what's on your mind at anytime, I'll be waiting for it.." Rui stared off into the distance and as if on cue the setting sun's peak shined a light so bright that it almost made him look tpo good to be true. Tears began to tug at the corner of her eyes as she started at him looking off into the sunset. Its times like these that made her realize that she is never alone, he could always see right through her and that was what she wanted.

"Rui, I know this might be selfish of me to ask this much like I did in the past, but can you hold my hand? Just for 10.. no even just 5 minutes.." Rui couldn't help but let out a smile as he slipped his cold hand into that of Makino's warm awaiting one.

"Yeah, sometimes all you really need is a time of peace and clarity. I know right now it is the hardest it has ever been, but you never were one to give up, and that's what makes you stand out." Rui glazed into Makino's teary eyes as if in a sleepily trance.

"No matter what, I'll protect you.." These words were all that she wanted to hear and if almost on impulse Rui threw himself on her small frame, which was enough to make her gasp in surprise.

"..Rui.. we shouldn't be doing this, I love Tsukasa remember?" At this point she was in a panic, doesn't he remember anything that went on when Tsukasa was around? He had already threatened him before, but this time he really could kill him! She flushed as she tried to push him back, but it was almost like her arms were like noodles. Strangely enough they both landed onto a nearby bench were Rui was laying on top of her in between her legs.

'This.. this CAN'T BE HAPPENING..' Makino thought in her head, fear and confusion was all that entered. The shock managed to reach up to her and she was frozen. To her surprise she heard something that she had not expected to hear in a long time, the light breathing of Rui fast asleep. At this sweat drops began to appear and in a fury she threw Rui off of her and onto the ground, only regret being so harsh when he grunted in pain. What seemed to surprise her the most was that if something were to have happened, would she have been able to stop it? Would she have wanted to?


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I am basing this on the manga and the Japanese drama!! I do not own any of these characters and am writing just for my pure love of the drama! This is my first fic so please review!

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**I realized that I don't love him, I just have romantic fantasies to be held again.**

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_'These past months have been some of the happiest and most confusing times of my life. From time to time Tsukasa calls me to check on how I am doing and who I am generally with. I don't know why but I always tend to avoid those kinds of questions by asking about he's been doing. That often led to him talking about how busy his schedule is and stuff like that. We never really told each other that we loved each other over the phone but then again I didn't think I would have to feel this lonely again. However when I am with Rui all that loneliness seems to disappear like magic._

_I have also went to check on Tama and even Tsubaki at the Domyoji home when she was around. However all they have done is talk about Tsukasa and how they can't wait for him to return, and always chat excitedly about how he the huge diamond ring he gave me. That's just his style, the type of guy to keep me all to himself, and I feel that he only wants us to be engaged so quickly so as long as I wear this ring, I am marked as his. To be honest even though I miss him, I haven't seen him in a while so thinking about talks of marriage again scares me. To me they seem more excited about the future then I am, but I'm not even completely sure of what might happen._

_I have also occasionally hung out with Shigeru, Sojiro, Akira, and the others. Even Yuki though we both moved away from the working at the Dango shop, sometimes we stop by to check how things are going, and reminisce on old times. Another pair of teenage girls work there, that almost remind us of ourselves, and for now everything seems at peace there, also as if we never left. Yuki's hair has grown long to how it used to be before she cut it, and she has even told me about the new guy she has been dating, who surprising looks a lot like Sojiro._

_She is the only one who I don't lie to because even now like back then, I can trust her. Whenever I am with everyone else, they always mention Tsukasa and tell me not to worry because the final year was coming within reach for when he'd come back. Soon they would be on their last year and graduating from their universities and moving on to bigger things. Rui told me that no matter what even after he takes up his family business, he won't ever be too busy for me. Sometimes that man is all too good to be true._

_It is obvious to point out that everyone notices that when Rui and I are together, we are attached to the hip as some would say. Silly as it is I feel closer to him then I have felt to anyone else, even Tsukasa at this point. I just fear he doesn't take our friendship the wrong way, I don't ever want him to look at me as if staring right at his enemy, it's frightening..'_

"Makino.." She looked up to see Rui from her seat on a bench in the park.

"Heya Rui what's going on? Why are you looking at me with such worried eyes?" Makino locked eyes with Rui, as if challenging him to go on with what he wanted to say.

"Can we take a walk? We need to talk.."

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Rui and Makino walked around for what seemed like a long time.

"How are you feeling?" Makino decided it was time to break the silence. Rui continued to keep his head down as if in deep thought.

"How well do you trust Tsukasa?" She instantly became nervous, it's amazing what this one man can do to her.

"Erm, why do you ask?" She tried to cover up her nervousness but with Rui it was damn right impossible. She felt cold sweat beginning to form on her back, the way he was talking didn't sound good, not at all.

"Do you trust him at all?" Her eyes widened, she wanted to trust him, but when they talked through the monitor she would sometimes see foreigners with big breast that made her feel uneasy. Not to mention the insults she used to receive about her own size such as being flat and such.

"How do you expect? I'm so afraid because lately I feel out of touch.. and this ring just ties me down to him, but he doesn't have anything on his finger to weigh him down.. why am I always the only one?" Tears suppressed in for so long finally all began to pour out and she knew that she couldn't hold it.

"What can I do?" Rui stared at her, as if he could stare deeply into her soul, as if he had knew her all along.

"Honestly, don't you know? I can't tell you how to live your life. But for some strange reason, I can't seem to convince myself why I am struck on the outside of all of this. To tell you the truth, even though I said I would step aside because your happiness would be enough… lately when It comes to him I don't see you so happy.. So why did I have to let you go?" Rui's mysterious smile hadn't changed over the years, and focused in on Makino. He began to rub the back of his head nervously as he had done so many times.

"I felt like I have said too much again. Forgive me Makino, just forget it. I just need to clear up the air between us in order for me to finally be able to try and let these sentiments go. But... How much longer will it take... for this lingering feeling to disappear? I feel that we have become too dependent on each other, so much to the point that I find it hard to control myself.." With that Rui's face flushed so slightly that it reminded her of that day where he confessed in New York.

'_What the hell is GOING ON?_' Makino's head was spinning, she didn't know what to say or what to think.

"Is it possible that I am probably not in love with you? Could it just be that I was so dependent on you that it felt like something so similar to love? I just need some help, I can't figure this out alone because with you I don't feel that emptiness anymore. Can you help me Makino? That is all I ask.." He looked down and refused to look back at her. This made Makino realize that he could have a point there. Ever since Tsukasa left, she had felt more dependent on Rui, even to the point where she would have probably have been intimate with him.

"I owe it to you as I owe it to myself. No matter what I know I have always loved you and that will never change. I want as both to feel better about ourselves before we can finally let each other go." Makino looked at Rui, and they ended up locking eyes.

Makino's eyes were so fierce and Rui's eyes were the most surprised she had ever seen them. She had wanted to wait until her honeymoon, but she realized that she wasn't a kid anymore and she couldn't continue to run away from taking a step into adulthood. Right now, there was no looking back, and with the removal of her ring, she no longer felt like she was suffocating under Tsukasa's powerful influence.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I am basing this on the manga and the Japanese drama!! I do not own any of these characters and am writing just for my pure love of the drama! This is my first fic so please review!

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_I started crossing the line  
Cause you were never there  
No where to turn,  
No one to help,  
It's almost like I don't even know myself  
Now I have to choose  
I don't know what to do - [loves me not - t.a.t.u]_

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**"We can go to my house, it's not like anyone will be there to bother us.."**

_'At the time I didn't want to admit it but I was so scared.. He was true to his word when he said that no one would be there, but to enter his bedroom once more made me instantly nervous. In order to try to calm myself down I tried my best to think of Tsukasa.'_

Makino and Rui were just sitting on his bed, the windows were closed and the door was locked. It wasn't before long that he began to remove his coat and his shoes.

"Ah um, I KNOW! Why don't we start off with watching TV?" As Makino reached for the remote, but she had dropped it several times before managing to turn the TV on. Right away as she turned it on she accidently switched it to the hentai channels where they saw a major case of S&M. She yelped out in shock and turned it off as quick as she could before laughing out loud nervously. This caused Rui to chuckle as well which caused Makino to feel less nervous.

"Relax I'm not a rapist you know, I was just trying to get comfortable since the heat is finally kicking in." Rui looked at her with a serious expression.

"We don't have to do this you know." She threw back a blank expression.

"Isn't there anything you want to say?" She laughed nervously.

"A wise man once told me that it doesn't matter whether it should or shouldn't be like this. No one really knows what's right. It's time to break myself..After all you only live once." Makino smiled with a new found strength inside herself, remembering Tsukasa's encouraging words.

"You're an important person to me, so let's see this as a way of saying good bye, and letting our feelings go to rest. Let's be just good friends from here on out, okay? Maybe this'll prove to us that this is just an childish infatuation that we have for each other.. it can't be love." She grinned, tears that poured out quickly disappeared after Rui walked up to her and wiped away her tears, only to catch her by surprise as he kissed her so suddenly. As she looked at him as he pulled away, realizing how flush his face was and how warm he felt all of a sudden. He brought a fist up to his mouth and cleared his throat loudly, breaking the spell that she felt herself get caught into.

"Sorry." Makino looked at him, and through her sad eyes she smiled.

"You know back when Tsukasa lost his memory and when he proposed, I felt like I was being selfish and unfair towards you. I knew that there was a chance that you would feel like I was taking advantage of your feelings, but it helped me so much knowing that someone was there supporting me, so thanks to you once again Rui.." With that she kissed Rui with the same amount of intensity that she knew he deserved, clothes being discarded all the while.

As the kiss grew deeper, for a moment she saw his true emotions flicker for a split moment in his eyes. She didn't want to allow herself to think about that and pressed herself into his arms, kissing him firmly to his surprise. He returned her kiss, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. They fell back on the bed, his lips carefully moving down her neck. As his hand traveled down her body, he could feel her body tense, and her eyes closed tightly, and her expression was pained.

"It's okay."

His hands were free to work his way up towards her right breast where he settled his mouth onto it. Her stomach fluttered as without warning he began to invade her most sensitive area with his dominant hand causing her to gasp out loud. Both of her hands made their way in his hair as he moved his way up, and groaned into her neck, even then it didn't take much to see that he was holding back true feelings in which he never really expressed.

He removed his fingers from his 'assault' as he positioned himself in between her legs. As he pulled her body closer to his she placed a hand on his chest. The tears freely finding its path below into the darkness she never thought would be true.

"Makino, it's my first time too, so don't be afraid, I'm right here with you." Rui was gentle, inside and out, this different side was refreshing and promising. However this was not what was tearing her apart on the inside.

'Tsukasa please forgive me for not waiting, especially because he is not the one I love..' he gripped her waist and pushed himself halfway into her. This new feeling made her sick to her stomach as she felt a new feeling of pain that she had never felt before. Both began to breath heavier and more irregular as they both entered a new world they had never explored.

"I'm sorry, it should only hurt at first." Rui completely pushed all the way through without warning. This made her cringe and cry out loud in pain. It made Makino remember the time she was almost raped and how Rui had been the one to save her.

Breathing heavily Rui looked at all her changing expressions, and he moved slowly despite the fact that as a man he wanted more. When her breathing started to slow down, he gave her a simple kiss to apologize and decided that it would be better to end it for his own sake. He began to go in faster, using her waist for support to push himself in deeper and harder. Makino, whether she loved him or not, could not control her body's impulses and began to tremble and cry out beneath him. With the tightening of her walls, he grunted as he felt her release, thrusting until he pulled completely out of the warmness her body had created, and turned in another direction for his own release. Tired and sweating, they stayed there in his bed for some time catching their breath.

Their eyes met and both of them smiled, memories of the past openly released among them. She was too sore to move, but she took a deep breath and gracefully rose from the bed, grabbing and adjusting her clothes and trying to smooth out her jacket. While she was dressing herself, she heard a door closing in the distance as she left into the open doorway breathing in the fresh air.

The sky was dark, it was already late, yet Makino didn't mind it. She stood there for some time thinking, just thinking about everything. She felt that she owed Rui this moment and was glad that they didn't treat each other like lovers. Knowing what she did was wrong, she had no regrets as she was glad to have shared such an experience with him, as bitter as the situation really was. It would be a complete lie to say that she felt nothing, but was glad to see that even though he was her first, he would always be there as something more, her biggest support.


End file.
